History in the Making

Well it's been pretty random lately... I've been on this trip of discovering my roots and making sure that if I were to die tomorrow people would still have a way of knowing who Felicia Alcaraz really is... I started this link on the "ancestry" website and have actually amazed myself with how much I know about my family and my roots. During my grandfathers passing, we tried to get in contact with my aunt Barbara, no one had her number, an address or anything... my sister actually wasted like over $30 on those "find people" websites trying to find her, but every number that was found was disconnected, we even got an address for one of her sons (which amazingly was like 2 blocks from my apartment) so I drove over there and wouldn't you know it, it was empty and for sale.. (I think those websites are B.S.) but he has passed and she doesn't even know... imagine not even knowing your father has passed... wow! I want to make sure my family (although we have issues with one another) still has some source of contact or links to one another and if I'm the one that has to do it on some damn ancestry website then so be it... I asked my mom what her grandfathers name was and she couldn't even tell me... thats just crazy to me... I do believe everything happens for a reason, and when the lord takes one life he gives another... My grandfathers passing has opened my eyes to a lot of things, and made me think sooo much my brain is officially fried... over all, life is just to short to deal with all the bull. I have goals I have dreams.. I just need people around me that are going to continue being there for me as I am for them.. not adding on more bull, or making the choices in my life more difficult.. I've gotten tired of a lot of stuff and all of this thinking has grown anger with in me... the kind that makes me feel like i'm not gonna put up with much more shit.. i'm almost ... or maybe i am in my "whatever" stage.. i just feel i aint got the time for your shit and if that makes me a b*t** than so be it, I don't care.. Ima do for me and mine. Ima support my family and myself and if you're along for the ride, by all means thank you, but if you here just to cause more heart ache and pain... please continue walking by and go to the next blog... ya dig!