ahh

I'm still loving the last blog, don't want to add nothin new hehe

Alone all Alone

alone all alone

lying, thinking last night. How to find my soul a home. Where water is not thirsty

And bread loaf is not stone. I came up with one thing. And I don't believe I'm wrong

That nobody,

But nobody,

Can make it out here alone

Alone, all alone, nobody but nobody, Can make it out here alone.

There are some millionaires with money they can't use. Their wives run around like banshees

Their children sing the blues, they've got expensive doctors to cure thier hearts of stone.

But nobody, no, nobody can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone, Nobody but nobody can make it out here alone.

Now if you listen closely I'll tell you what i know.

Storm clouds are gathering, the wind is gonna blow, the race of man is suffering,

And I can hear the moan,

Cause nobody, but nobody, can make it out here alone.

Alone All Alone

"alone" by maya angelou

Room - Mate?

Due to the Alcaraz temper, my dad called me last week and asked if he could come stay with me. I have to admit at first i wasn't to hype about the idea. Right now, i need positive energy and my father is almost like "poison" in my life. He has played such a role in making my childhood as bad as it was. To have him move in, is a big step, trusting that he'll do good and won't cause stress... But I can't have my dad on the streets. I agreed to let him be there, he says it's only for two weeks.. and being that its now been 5 days, i know i wouldn't be able to stand any longer than 2weeks. It takes away from mine and Larry's privacy and I just don't have the extra money for food, electricity and water... all the extra bills... I know it sounds horrible, but you just don't know everything that man has put me through. Yes family is family and the lord says to forgive, but i will be scared for life with things he's done. I'm really doing him a big favor by letting him stay. I love him of coarse, I just know this isn't good for me, and right now I really got to focus on whats best for me.

Psalms 30

I will extol thee, O Lord: for thou hast lifted me up, and hast no made my foes to rejoice over me. O Lord my God, I cried unto thee, and thou hast healed me. O Lord, thou hast brought up my soul from the grave: thou hast kept me alive, that I should not go down to the pit. Sing unto the LORD, O ye saints of his, and give thanks at the remembrance of his holiness.

Psalm 30

That's all I have to say today

Improvement

Slowly but surely things are looking up... I just want to take the time to thank you Lord. I know a drastic change won't happen tomorrow, so many times i feel i have left you down, and sooo many times you have carried me. Thank you for the things you have blessed me with. Thank you!

44th President

Let us mark this day in remembrance of who we are and how far we’ve traveled, in the year of America’s birth, in the coldest of months. A small band of patriots huddles by dying camp fires on the shores of an icy river, the capital was abandoned, the enemy was advancing the snow was stained with blood, the moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people: let it be told to the future world that in the depth of winter when nothing but hope and virtue could survive, that the city and the country alarmed in one common danger came forth to meet it, America in the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words with hope and virtue let us brave once more the icy currents and endure what storms may come let it be said by our children’s children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end that we did not turn back nor did we falter and with eyes fixed on the horizon and gods’ grace upon us we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to the future generations. Thank you, God Bless you, and God Bless the United States of America!

-Barack Obama January 20, 2009

wow! all I can say is, people don't expect change tomorrow, or even within his first tearm, it'll take time, but I believe he can do it... Let's Go!

Music is the Soundtrack of Your Life

Yes it is! Dick Clark could not have put it better. I noticed that what ever mood i'm in, i'm listening to that kind of music... feeling in love listenin to "love songs" like "Us againt the World" by Christina Millian, after a brake up listening to "bash him songs" like "Irreplaceable" by Beyonce (hehe), during a mourning period you listend to "miss you songs" like "One Sweet Day" by Mariah Scarey & Boyz II Men. On a joyous day you pretty much listen to anything that gets you bouncin lol.. etc etc.. Right now during a time, of trial & tribulations, I'm trying to regrain that motivation and stamina.. so i listen to "keep your head up" by Tupac.. it just shows from this short listing here...

"Music is the soundtrack of our lives"

THANK YOU MUSIC!

Us Against the World

Really feeling this song right now.. ya know Larry has really proven himself to me.. it's kinda scary never had a guy show me I'm wrong in all the ways I want to be proven wrong, and proven me right in the areas I should be right in (if that makes sense)... He makes life worth living, as i've said before and plenty of times he is my tree and thru the thunda and lightning has stood strong for me.. what more can a girl ask for ya know.. i sound all puppy love like.. even if he wasn't my boyfriend (god forbid) he's still a super great guy and my best friend. The world is this big place for all of us to go and f-up-grow up-& ride the rollar coaster of life, sometimes we have people who will be our bridges, help get us from one part of our life to another, and then we never look back.. move on from them but take the lesson learned.. and then there are those who are passengers.... who ride it out with us, and continue on.. never alone.. never in the dark. He is my light, what the lord & world has blessed me with... it's just us against the world baby.. like Christina Milian says "if the sun shuts down and decided not to shine no more i would still have you, if we see the last day and they say we gotta go war I would fight beside you, cuz i know if i'm falling you wont let me hit the ground, and if the boat is sinkin you won't let me drown, no matter what any one says this is the only place for me, and no one could ever take that away, nothing can come between us"


"the universe always leaves a light on fo ryou, it lets you see where you're going, and remember where you've been... but mostly helps you notice where you are"

Wishing for change

Is it so wrong to wish for some things to change... things that have might been a certain way for years.. just to change.. some people say if it aint broke don't fix it.. but damn, it might not cause you issues, but it causes me issues... i jus wish people could see what i see.. or feel what i feel.. then maybe they could somewhat say "i understand" and mean it... i don't wish death upon anyone.. i never would.. sometimes it's better off if peoople just moved on.. if you see your presence cause issues.. why not.. i know i would .. sitting on this thought today. i hope it will pass

Believe

Yo! so today is somewhat of an "in depth" day. I received this link today http://www.maniacworld.com/are-you-going-to-finish-strong.html
It is a very very touching one. Makes you really evaluate your life and the things you appreciate or the things you don't...
With that was the conversation of belief's. It is easy to say "yes I believe in this..." but unless you have full faith in it... your belief doesn't mean anything.. it's like "actions speak louder than words".. you can say you believe, but unless you trully do, the perks of believing won't apply to you. I believe in Larry very much, I do. Ever since I met him there was a spark about him... not just cause I fell in love with him, I mean as an individual, I've always seen something special in him. He has a great talent, and a strong head on his shoulders. There are many things that have tried to block his path to success, but no matter what he still continued on. Not many people can say that... sure after falling down once or twice you get back up... but to be knocked off, pushed off, fallen on your own.. etc etc.. to get back up and try again... A lot of people don't have that desire, that drive, that motivation, but he... he does. I applaud him and admire him for that. But every one has that down moment, where they feel like "this is it, this is as good as it gets"... it's just a matter of moving on from that point and getting over it... "this too shall pass" and with that said, and with the video clip shown.. appreciate what you have in life, the gifts, the people, the love... and know that without strugglle there is no progress and when you think you aren't going anywhere.. stop and take a break and look around.. you might be suprised to find out you're practicly where you want to be already...

"Life is like climbing stairs in the dark you think there's so many more steps ahead, so you take that next step up, and the next thing you know, you're already at the top"

Missing In Action

Yo! So I have totally been M.I.A. you don't even want to know the ordeal.. infact if you're reading this.. thank you for being a loyal reader.. I know I've left you for quite some time.. Christmas time was great being with the kids, my mom, and bf of coarse... Got into a fuss with my sis, which I don't care to get into... some times you come to a point in life when you realize just because you are blood related does not mean that you have to get along.. i've come to those terms.. tired of the b.s.

New Years was not that great. I would love more than anything to say it was ... but the point is.. everything is a learning experience and everything happens for a reason.. I DO NOT Regret things in life. I learn from them. I've learned to never take life for granted and to never make the same stupid decision twice. I'm sorry for those that I have hurt and I deeply feel pain for what I have caused you. I am not alone in this world... I understand. Now the year is about appreciation. Appreciation of friends, family, quiet time, going out time, my boyfriend, my pets, of everything.

"When the day-to-day is a trapeze act let go like you mean it, if other hands don't quite grab yours, there's a big wide net. It's made of all the bounce back strength you haven't used yet"