Don't Lose Sight

Ahh, to have someone walk a day in my shoes would be great... maybe people would understand why I am the way I am. At a young age I was taught to put on a fake smile, laugh at everything, and never let anyone know the pain I feel. I was taught that crying was a weakness, I should never let anyone put me down or disrespect me, and if they ever did, make them regret it. I was taught that I might see things in life I wish I never saw but I shouldn't lose sight of what is real and what isn't. I was taught not to walk into that room full of men if the door was closed. I was taught that my sister was the pretty one and going to have a family and that I was the smart one and going to become something in life. I was taught not to lose sight of my goals cuz those are the things that will get me far in life. "Don't lose sight" hmmm, most of the things I saw as a child were horrible, and the things that were nice or "normal" were artificial... so I shouldn't lose sight of fake-ness? or Don't lose sight of the horrible things I saw? I can never lose sight of that... those things will stick with me forever. Many say I'm lucky to be where I'm at with the life that I lived... hmm... to those that visually see me, I'm sure most would think that... but to be with me in my most private moments, you'll see those things in my past have taken their toll... a normal childhood.. shoot I wish..

**Well, I'll tell you this much, I won't lose sight of how far I've come, I won't lose sight of how strong I can be, and I won't lose sight of how caring I am for those around me. I feel I needed a lot of love as a child, I lacked that, I try to make up for it by getting that extra love now. Having friends who care means a lot to me... I try to care just as much for them =) so with that said... just don't lose sight of what is important to you today, leave the past in the past and worry about tomorrow... tomorrow.