Is it Real?

I once asked a woman who was speaking to me about her boyfriend of a few years if they were going to get married. She looked at me almost with a blank stare and said "i'm not sure". Surprised herself at her own answer, I asked her "why do you say that?" She mentioned a few reason's but mainly she told me it was hard to tell because of the way their relationship was. They argued a lot and made up a lot. It was a cycle though, the same things over and over. She admitted that she has problems she needed to work on herself, but that he had problems too. I asked her if at any point in the relationship she believed they were going to get married... she told me in the beginning and randomly throughout the relationship they would have their moments where she truly believed with out a doubt he was the man she would marry. But then there was times when she felt she didn't know how much longer she could stay with him... I told her she sounded really confused. I was one to always believe that when you knew you were going to marry someone... you "KNEW" it, no matter how ruff it got, or how bad it could get, you knew that you two would get through it because you were meant for each other... to have so much doubt isn't good. It should tell you something.... She told me it was hard because she loved him sooo much and they've been with eachother for a while it would be hard to let go. Those are all the wrong reasons sweetie, you see any two people can hang out constantly lets say for 3 months and to walk away from eachother cold turkey would be extremely hard because you get used to them being there, it doesn't mean you were meant to be together... it just means you got attached, which is natural. Just the same, I believe if a man and woman had intentions of being with eachother but weren't really in love yet, the more they stayed together they would learn to love eachother. You have to decide whether you want to be with someone that you learned to love, or you actually fell in love with... I personally like the fairy tale of falling in love. Some believe all that mumbo jumbo of knowing "they were the one" or "swept me off my feet" isn't real, I feel bad for those people that think that way, I really do... its because of those thoughts that you will never get to experience that feeling of true love... Unless you take a chance and put yourself on that limb, that's what love is, a ride, it can be scary at times yes, and it isn't always going to be peaches and cream, but for the most part its worth wild. I ask you, the person you're with, whether it's a new relationship or old, do you see yourself marrying this person? I'm not saying tomorrow or next year, just in general, could you deal with all their imperfections for the rest of your life? If you don't think so, why waist their time or yours (unless you've both agreed this is just "for now") I believe you truly deep down know what the possible outcomes could be, some people are just afraid to admit it. In fear of being alone or hurting someone they truly care about. What you see is what you get, yes people can make improvements (no one is perfect) but don't ever start to date someone with hopes to change them... it's not going to happen, they were that way long before they met you, and they will be that way long after you... Can you deal? Love is out there for everyone, you can't go on a mission to find it, it finds you. Good luck! and remember time is precious, it's one thing you can't get back, and you can't make it up... you have one moment, one second, one minute... don't waist your time or anyone else's.