Nicole Orellana - LLS Woman of the Year Candidate

Larry Dixon Jr's Work

freelance work available-contact info located at http://ldixon.carbonmade.com/

25 to Life

a life sentence feels like what I've received.
Because I was guilty of wanting a degree.
It feels like there's no limit to the price I have to pay.
I'm being punished for wanting information in my brain.
Convicted for wanting an education for my self.
Labeld an "offender" of taking a non-criminal route.
This sentenced is so crucial, I don't know if I can hang,
Imagine, I have to face all this because I chose not to join a gang.
Faceing a never ending torture that just aint right.
All this because I wanted something better for my life.

© written October 26, 2010

Taking One 4 the Team

Trying to fight what I feel inside
trying to ignore that this isn't right
Did something I never thought I'd do
I said I did something when I knew it wasn't true

Just wanted to stop all the drama & blame
the stress, heart ached, & pain
Didn't want to cause a gap with the family
When all I ever wanted was for them to love me

Sacrafice my character & my name
by admitting 2 something I didn't do & taking the blame
so that everyone else could sleep @ night
While I toss & turn, trying 2 tell myself it'll be alright

Did it mainly for him because I love him so
Because I couldn't handle having 2let him go
Guilty of a crime I didn't commit
All because she'd rather believe his bullshit

Stats Everyone Should Know

There are more African American men in prison than in college.

In fact there are four African American men in prison for every three in college.

(for white men, the ratio is about two in college for every one in prison)

African American born after 1960's are more likely to go to prison than to finish a four-year degree or serve in the military.

Wasn't always that way though, in 1980's there were three times more African American's in college than in prison.

Today, African American's make up 40% of the prison population, and only about 13 % of all U.S. Residents.

I'm not saying that you need to scolled the younger generation and teach them to do right... we all know that these statistics are not because African American't know nothing else but to commit crime.. no! that statement is false. There are a number of factors that play a role, one includes the fact that studies show the areas that police are instructed to patrol are usually high in population of African American's or Hispanics. They are sent to areas where there is less white males so how are they supppose to arrest anything other than a minority?

It is important for the younger generation and even our generation to know these statistics so that they can avoid putting themselves in certain environments. They also to be educated on the stats. There was a point in time when 3x as many African Americans were in college than in prison... I for one believe that those type of statistics can reoccur .. its just gonna take some word of mouth and encouragement from everyone.

Damaged Goods

there is indeed one thing
that can label me
as horrible as it seems
its as true as can be
"damaged goods"
thats what i am
"damaged goods"
do you understand?
its a blemish on my heart
it stands in front like a guard
not allowing love to start
but showing that others have left their mark.
Contaminated by the past that wont let go
as much as i fight it, it continues to grow
Fear rises but i try not to let it show
hoping it'll fade but it never seems to go
damaged goods
thats what i am
damaged goods
dont you understand
its a stigma i wish i didn't have
a defect i try to cover with a laugh
but when "love" i try to grab
it feels like that stigma is taking a jab.
the vitiate of the damage takes over me
announcing it still exist imperishably
Reminding me i was once worth winning
but after being tainted I am simply nothing...
but
damaged goods
thats who i am
damaged goods
dont you understand

Lost & alone

Happiness lies in the beholder.. there are few things that make me happy but many that make me sad.. what is wrong with me? Why can't I be normal and at ease? Why can't I go back to the old me...? the one so happy and joyous.. the one so confident and free... who was ambitious and motivated.. and care free? So many things have created a cross roads on my track, yes I've over come so much in life.. but many things have left their track, their mark, the damage, that I must let go.. I try and i try but I don't know how. Many say they desire me, but I assure them that its a facade, they see the good things.. but dont know what lies beneath.. a troubled, damaged, girl.. with many issues.. you wouldn't think of in all the world. I just want love and effection, is that so much to ask? I just want someone to love me whole heartly, and who isn't afraid to shout it to the world. Who is proud to have me on their arm, not complain about how unhappy I am.. i just want someone to cradle me in their arms and kiss the back of my neck, someone to walk up behind me and tell me how good i look... someone to think outside the box and not send me flowers or roses.. but send me a small gift every hour on the hour for one special day. mail a card to me in the mail.. even though you'll see me inbetween the delivery.. things to make me smile and know that you're randomly thinking of me.. not because i want you to, or ask you to, but because you genuinely love me and do those things on your own.. i want a man.. a man who doesn't care if others think he's soft, as long as his woman is happy thats what matters.. im not asking for riches, pearls, or diamonds.. im asking for affection.. is that soo much?? really is it??

Red Sensations

I slither into the bathroom, where I slowly find my ease.
I grab the blade, put it to my leg, & let the blood release.
As I stare at the sweet red sensations that oozes out of me,
I forget all my problems and continue to cut into me.
Red sensations flowing onto the ground,
Red sensations dripping now,
Its the red sensations with out a doubt...
its the red sensations thats helping me out.
Slices to the skin, parting something once whole,
creating two parts down the middle is where the blade goes,
The red sensation continues to just flow,
Oh life of mine.. please just let me go -
Red sensations flowing onto the ground,
Red sensations dripping now,
Its the red sensations with out a doubt...
Its the red sensations thats helping me out.