Well I honestly have no choice, I mean I can't walk around sad forever right? I started these new meds and they kinda make me feel peppy haha, haven't felt like that since before the new year. Anywho, I couldn't sleep at all last night just kept thinking... ugh, I wonder what he's doing, if when he gets to work he thinks aobut texting me to tell me he made it, or when he's driving home if he thinks about calling me to talk... or if he even thinks about me at all throughout the day... Maybe he doesn't even care, "out of sight out of mind" maybe he thinks "I'm glad I don't have to call her, a weight off my shoulders". I dunno. I told his mom that I have forgiven myself for what happened, and only God can judge me, it's not upto anyone else to make me feel bad or punish me for my sins only the Lord. Yet, I still feel like I'm getting punished. I saw this quote it said, I'm not perfect, sometimes I'm bratty, I'm a bit insecure and can be hard to deal with sometimes, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best. What do you think about that? some say I need someone strong enough to be with me. But what the heck does that mean, it's not like i physically abuse someone and i need a tuff guy to handle it lol. i need someone that knows how to reach me in my darkest moments and he did... but he doesn't want to anymore. He doesn't wanna worry about me he wants to only worry about himself. and in a few months i hear he's with someone else, lol, thats like "well you worrying about someone else now" but i guess if thats how it is than thats how it is. thats how the cookie crumbles. I have straightening out i need to do. getting over him is one. Its gna be hard, moving on always is. But if there's no other option, than I have no choice right?.... Right...
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